For you

好好哦，每个人都勇敢为爱付出... 为爱而相信对方。难道要陌生人或不熟悉的人才能得到信任和肯定吗？他们都那么浮浅吗？或者，你们就很诚实，一定要用激将法。我知道只要我打华文你就不读了。对吧？

我很失望... 但也觉悟了，爱和被受肯定是在不同等级的吧。难道在戏里的无条件付出和信任的那种坚定都是奢求，幻想吗？ 也许是我要求太多了... 相信我又要我相信自己，鼓励我，要我坚强，什么也不用说就知道我想什么的偏偏是他。我希望是你。真的。很希望很希望只有你是这样。不是什么都是有前因后果的。我们相遇根本没有理由但我却也很开心，很幸福... 因为，你是改变我这个人生阶段的人。有你才有今天不一样的我知道吗？你对什么事都有耐心，有恒心。只是，对我呢？你到底怎么想？我想要知道。

我... 在跟自己说话...？

p.s.
maybe you'll only read this... next time, sign out from your blogger account please. every time i see it, my heart aches more than ever. not cos of that issue but cos i think maybe i don't know you enough?
you think with what you see literally. how many weekdays have we spent for you to see? and not what you feel or even how i feel. what you say is right. you can choose not to have trust in me, believe in me or just support me in any way. i'll... (try) be fine and face it.
i'm not ranting bout you again. i just don't know how else i can express what i wanna tell you, these are too long-winded for messages, if i tell you on the phone or face to face, i'll sure cry and sprout nonsense.
i really mean maybe i try too hard to love you and i care too much and got too sensitive over every lil thing you say. i failed to show how much i really love you in the right way...
if you care, just hug me, mean it and say nothing. its all i need.

p.p.s.
those who can't understand, I'm sorry but this is not meant for anyone else.

xoxo
Christie